Hello, It's Me.....Carmen

My Rightful Owner doesn't know that I figured out the password to his blog. When he got this new blog he changed the password so that I couldn't get in. He's not so smart. It was easy to figure out.

So much has happened since the last time I posted. Where do I begin?

There's Coyote poop in my yard!!! I'm so fucking pissed off I could hump a duck. I woke up last night in the middle of the night and I could hear them howling and yelping outside my window. I want to hump a coyote.

Rightful Owner has been working in the yard all morning. Apparently yard work requires the use of a lot of bad words because rightful owner has been using a lot of them today. I think "Fuck me all to hell" may be his favorite bad word.

Speaking of fuck me all to hell, I am going to kill all the Chinese people in the world. They are putting poison in dog food and because of that, I haven't been able to have my favorite food in months. Fucking stupid Chinese. Don't they have anything better to do with their time?

Tomorrow Rightful Owner goes back to Utah. Apparently Utah is an Indian (feather not dot) word meaning Land Of No Chihuahuas because he will leave me here again when he goes. That's okay, I hear Mormons eat dogs as part of their sacred church rituals. Fucking stupid Mormons.

I know the reason Rightful Owner is working so hard today. He is going to the bar this afternoon. He always does this on days when he wants to go to the bar. He rushes around trying to get all of his work done so that he can go sit in that smelly bar all afternoon. Then he comes home and falls asleep on the couch. Fucking stupid Rightful Owner. Yes, that's right. When rightful owner gets drunk, he turns into a famous dead African American.

Cats are fags. That top cat looks like a cat The Girl used to have. Not only was that cat a fag, but it was crazy as a fucking bat too.

Okay, I have to go pee on something now and then sniff someone's butt. It's my job you know. Now that I have stolen rightful owner's password, I will try to post from time to time. Of course once he takes the laptop back to Utah, all I'll have is dial-up and that's a huge pain in my ass. Fuck it. Maybe I won't post. Maybe I'll just kill something from the inside out.

Whoa!!!!!! Check out these Chihuahuas.